Why I Got Started with Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

For much of my life, I believed I knew how to connect with others and maintain meaningful relationships. In my personal life I thought that being thoughtful, honest, or caring was enough to build strong bonds. Yet despite my efforts, I found myself in conflicts, misunderstandings or fear of being honest.

Most of my professional life, I worked in hi-tech companies—environments I truly loved, based on independence, freedom, and trust. And yet, even there I occasionally left the workplace because of bad communication, often by managers who did not know how to navigate situations. And me? Back then I did not know how to navigate them either.

My wake-up call came when an important relationship fell apart. It was clear to me that something needed to change. I wanted to understand how I could manage relationships better and also how to be accepted as I am. I set out to seek answers.

I explored many routes, but it was Nonviolent  Communication that captured my attention right away. This was the turning point of my life.

It taught me:

·   Why we often feel uncomfortable in conversations.

·   How we can be honest and keep the connection.

· How to navigate challenging situations so they don’t escalate to conflicts and if we are in an argument how to calm things down.

·  Mainly, how to see the humanity in myself and in the other person in every circumstance, which is the secret of it all.

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How I change with NVC

I was excited, I was exuberated, overjoyed. Ah-ha, I found the magic language that would make people do what I want, and life will just be wonderful! I thought. Needless to say, that soon after I realized it was not a magic language, but at the same time I saw that it did do magic.

I started being aware, spoke and listened differently and conversations changed. And what before would be a big fight was now being managed.

 It started to be noticeable: friends started to say “it’s easy to speak to you, you don’t judge” (of-course I still judge, but it is how I work with the judgments and how I say things that transformed). I became passionate about it, wanting to fill up my days with that energy, language, approach. “How did I not know about it before? It could have saved me so much grief”, was a recurring thought.

Years later one of my workshop attendees shared the same thing with me:“if I knew about your NVC, a lot of my life would have been so much simpler.”

Indeed, people should know about it early on.

It became such a meaningful part of my life that I began facilitating workshops, guiding others, and spreading the word. I have seen its impact—the hope it gives people, and the sense of control over their lives that is slowly regained. I see the magic.

I fell in love with teaching. It’s amazing to witness the moment when something truly lands - the a-ha moment - the shift that happens when people gain new clarity and feel empowered. I still get excited about the occasional message I receive that says “I tried it with my husband and it worked”.

In 2021, I joined Toastmasters International, a nonprofit organization dedicated to public speaking and leadership development. I truly enjoy being part of this global community. It has given me the opportunity to take on several leadership roles and oversee multicultural projects. What I’ve learned through this experience is that, even when people share a common purpose and genuinely want to support one another, everything ultimately comes down to communication. The way we speak to each other can create connection or conflict, cooperation or separation. I envisioned how NVC can support both the organization and its members and this inspired me to begin offering training for directors and team leaders. Because great leadership is grounded in strong communication skills. The feedback was amazing, and it reinforced my belief in this model and its benefits even more.

I wish that people everywhere could have the chance to learn this way of communicating. My mission is to get it to as many people as possible so we will create a more pleasant work environment, better relationships and be closer to our true selves.